Truly, the Department for Work and Pensions moves in mysterious ways, its debt-gathering duties to perform. Damien Dove from Sunderland recently received a missive from the department over an overpayment on his housing benefit.
Cue some classic civil servant speak: “This was a debt owing to Mr Dove’s local authority; regulations require us to recover such debts when requested to and due to the automated nature of our systems the notification was generated without agent input. We supported Mr Dove, whose chosen payment method would’ve incurred a charge, by suggesting a free alternative.” What an outpouring of guff. And the debt? 2p.
It’s not just this country that is suffering from a severe drought, as I’m sure you’re aware. Dried-up lakes in America’s parched south-west have offered up a fossilised mastodon skull, ancient Native American dwellings and a B-29 Superfortress. The diminishing waters of Lake Mead, 20 miles from Las Vegas, seem to be offering a solution to where mobsters got rid of their victims. There was, for example, the man who had been shot in the head and stuffed in a barrel, plus a human skull. And how did Travis Heggie, a former National Park Service official, describe these gruesome findings? “This is just the tip of the iceberg.” I’m not sure this is the most felicitous phrase in the circumstances.
Moving swiftly along to the exciting world of white goods. I’m grateful to Geoff Cusick for drawing my attention to the following from Italian kitchen company Bertazzoni, which proudly advertises “food and beverage preservation systems”. As Mr Cusick rightly observes: “I think we used to call these fridges.”
And a heartfelt grumble from David Harris about the use of the word preventative. “What’s wrong with preventive? Surely the corresponding noun for the outrage would be preventation. Is there such a word? I doubt it. I hope not!”
Couldn’t agree more.
Jonathan Bouquet is an Observer columnist. Contact him at jonathan.bouquet@observer.co.uk
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