Nobody has ever complained about this, and it turns out that many women do the same. However, I recently had a video chat with a woman where I forgot to disclose. She went into the chat thinking I was Biff and became very upset when she learned otherwise. She said I tricked her.
I tried to explain, but she was dissatisfied. She quickly disconnected and then blocked me on the dating site.
What is your take on this? Did she overreact, in which case I may be better off not getting involved with someone who has a short fuse? Or was I the one who committed the faux pas?
Initially introducing oneself under false premises used to be a serious offense; in the context you cite, it is, unfortunately, merely common sense.
You were right to give your real name when you did — but it seems that the lady overreacted (thereby saving you the trouble of getting to know her). In future, perhaps you can choose an even more obvious non-name, such as Bff4123@. As you have already learned, you will not be the only person on the site ignoring the encouragement to use your real name.
Dear Miss Manners: I sell furniture on a commission basis. Is it appropriate to ask clients to request me personally if and when they return to the shop? Also, is it appropriate to inform them of my days off, so they do not come in and purchase something from someone else when I am not there?
It is important for me to make as many sales as possible, but I do not want to appear greedy or pushy. My first idea was to write the information on the back of my card — my days off, and a request that they ask for me.
If either or both are acceptable, can you please advise me of the correct, most polite verbiage to use?
If you do not wish to appear greedy or pushy, neither of which would win their loyalty, give them your card and say that you would be most pleased to help them again if there is anything else they need in the future.
Even the least observant customer will guess that you work on commission, but most will still appreciate your phrasing it as a desire to help them rather than to advance yourself.
Miss Manners would apply the same principle of emphasizing the positive to the matter of availability: Providing the times when you will be working, instead of when you will not, has the added benefit of not being open to misinterpretation.
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
The post Advice | Miss Manners: Was I wrong to use a fake name on a dating site? first appeared on Eatory.my.id.
